JENN STARK PHOTOGRAPHERS

We were in gym class and a girl that I had gone to school with my whole life had stopped what she was doing to stare at my shoes. In high school I learned very quickly that the girls that had once been invited to your birthday party at McDonalds in the second grade were all of a sudden way too cool to be seen talking with you anymore. So when she looked up and told me that my new pair of shoes were pretty cool, I must have flushed with embarrassment, but there was no hint of sarcasm in her voice, so I mumbled a thanks. Then she looked closer at what she thought must have been the newest model of the “in” brand of sneakers, you know, the sneakers that anyone who was cool enough and had the money for was wearing those days. I stared back at her own genuine “in” brand of sneakers – the real deal and oh-so-much cooler than my knock-offs. She kind of smiled when she realized her mistake. And just like that I was back to the bottom rung of the totem pole.

I remember when I first decided that I wanted to be a wedding photographer. I knew maybe one or two other photographers – girls who like me were just trying to make it – and that was it. I dived into this world where I knew I didn’t yet belong and tried to make my way into it. It felt like trying to sneak into the party that only the cool kids were invited to and trying to blend in. It was like high school all over again, and at first it was kind of lonely and discouraging. So I put my head down and just worked. It’s what I still do.

And sometimes, to be perfectly honest, it still feels like high school. There are the cool kids everyone wants to be friends with. There are the people who won’t talk to you because you aren’t cool enough. There are the groups of artsy kids who snicker at the popular crowds from the security of their own “in” groups. And it all kind of makes me feel a bit sick. It makes me wonder if photographers are for some reason this strange little micro-chasm of grown up high school kids, or if it’s like this in other professions too? I try to limit negativity in my life, so most times I honestly just try to ignore it. To dig deep inside and carve my own path. Try is the operative word.

The other day I made the drive down country roads to meet up with some of the wonderful and dear friends I’ve had the privilege of getting to know over the past year. These are the people I send my referrals to when I’m already booked for a date. The people I email in a panic when my computer is not speaking english in the middle of the night. The ones who leave me random lovely comments to brighten my day, who talk to me on twitter, and who come to me for advice every so often too. Once a month we all sit and drink coffee and eat way too many of Andrea’s oatmeal cookies (that was me yesterday) and talk about anything and everything – photography related or sometimes (often) not. We laugh and we share struggles and we give advice but most of all we just belong. And it’s the best and just thought you should all know that and here I am getting all sappy over it. But it’s true. I absolutely love our little community we’ve formed. It makes me forget the sometimes not so nice things about this industry. It helps me not get too caught up in the silliness of trying to climb my way up the totem pole and to surround myself with positivity.

So Shannon…Katie…Beth…Jeremy…Tonia…Krista…Andrea…Dave…Tracy…anyone I’ve missed…and any other future members of our little group of wedding photographers…I love that we’ve found each other, and I love that I know I’ve got you all in my corner. High school wasn’t all bad, but I am glad it’s (mostly) in the past now (I hope).

- Jenn xx